Well, I'm not a very organised person. That's why I don't really plan. And I wasn't a dreamer either, and so I never actually had wishes about "what I want to achieve or what I want to happen by the time I'm ..." for example.
Of course, it does not mean I'm not purposeful. Just that I never really wished or dreamed! =) Especially after I learned that I can trust God and I've learned to be content in whatever situations He has alloted as my portion in this life and in the one to come. =)
But yeah, maybe I'm changing now... =) Maybe in my effort to be more creative, I have learned "to dream"... =)
Either way, I do have a wish for what I would love to see happen by the time I'm 30! =) But it's not something I can achieve... Not something I can contribute anything to... It is something that needs to be granted to me. Although of course, I can ask for it... But then again, I know it's kind of selfish to ask for it... =(
Anyway, shared my wish with my sister last week, and suffice to say - she was a bit more than just stunned! =) And I know it's something that I will never share with my parents because I know they'd be horrified by it! I mean, not even all Christians would be able to understand it, so they definitely won't understand... =)
But it is something I'm really looking forward to - so very much! =) So even if it is after I'm 30, it is something I'm really looking forward to! =) Just thought the sooner the better! =) But I know I need to repent of that selfish thought! =)
Anyway, I think now I finally understand why people say that unless you have something/someone to die for, you don't really have anything to live for...
Now that I have something, or better yet Someone, to die for... I do have Someone to live for! =)
Not that I didn't have Him before, just that I was never really this aware before! =) Or maybe I just never really appreciated my relationship with Him as much as I do now! =)
Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
Philippians 1:18-26
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