Find Us Faithful

Finished reading a book recently, which made a reference to a song, which was introduced to me by a brother sometime ago.

The person in the book - in whose funeral the song was sang though, did live a life that reflects the lyrics of the song...

Also saw a very old couple who came to my workplace to attend friday fellowship and very encouraged by them also... and by the fire of their devotion - even to their old age...

My prayer is that even if my life will be pale compared to these people's lives, the lyrics of the song will still be true of me to a certain extent... =)

Find Us Faithful
(from: http://www.stevegreenministries.org/lyrics/index.php?song=402)

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover
And the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them
To the road we each must find

Repeat Chorus Twice

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

Words and Music by Jon Mohr
Copyright 1988 Birdwing Music/Jonathan Mark Music (admin. By The Sparrow Corp.) All Rights Reserved. International Copyright secured.

Skills

One of the things I've been thankful to God for during these past few weeks is the fact that as a child, I was given a chance not only to learn how to make simple clothes for my Barbie dolls, but also to make simple furnitures for them - like chairs, bed etc! =)

Some skills do come in handy later on in life! =P

Tomorrow... =)

It is amazing how much you can hide from those around you....

It is amazing and yet worrying at the same time...

Looking forward to a good quality alone time with my Lord and God tomorrow!!! =)

Looking forward to be reminded of His love and kindness and sovereignty over everything... And just looking forward to enjoy "being" who I was created to be! =) Someone, who's created to enjoy a perfect relationship with my sovereign Heavenly Father, through the sacrifice of my loving Lord! =)

Looking forward to tomorrow!! =)

Saying goodbye... again...

Said goodbye to another person yesterday... Another family to be exact...

Another sad day for me...

Kept thinking... four years from now, things would have changed! Their little baby will no longer be little and the next time he sees me, he won't approach me and ask me to give him a cuddle and carry him up...

He will be 5 at that time... And he will act like any other 5 yo boys and not a cuddly toddler...

How do you do goodbyes well??? How can you get used to it???

But I guess, it is better to have even the short time with them than none at all... It is better to be thankful for what we can have than not taking the chance because we are afraid of having to end it one day...

I'm missing all my friends at the moment... They are all over the world... in different places... and they are all far away from each other! And it's just... hard...

I don't know... I guess, I'm just missing all of them at the moment...

A good choice! =)

I knew that they chose him for a good reason - or even a few good ones...

Now, though... I know that they indeed made a really good choice! =)

An interesting sms reply... A very interesting one... =) But a good one for me to learn from! =)

That's what I need to learn to do better! =) An art of encouraging and comforting people, while challenging and helping them to focus on Christ at the same time! =)

Losing the battle...

He asked me how I was coping and if I was winning the battle.

I told him, I just want to win in godliness. I don't care if I lose that particular battle - or even other battles....

Sadly, I think I lost today... More than once...

Memories...

Going through some of my old stuff - part of packing up and all - and found quite a few things which show how set I was towards China...

Maps of China...

Notes from my uni courses on Chinese culture and civilisation... Not all, just some I thought were good to understand the people and culture...

Pictures and dolls of Chinese minority people groups...

Books / biographies of missionaries to China...

Books and notes on Chinese national language...

Lots and lots of prayer points and news on China and the Chinese...

A very thick prayer book on China...

So many things on and about China and its people!

It wasn't until 2003 that I started to have a "divided heart" - which was shown more clearly later on through the two prayer groups that I was actively involved in... One for China and one for my home country...

Something in my visit back to my "second world" early last year made me decide that I probably wanted to focus on my second world...

Something that happened "back there" during that year "helped" me set my direction...

Mid last year - I asked to be taken off the China group's mailing list...

I don't know what I - or someone else - will find among my stuff - should we go through them a few years from now... =)

Wonder where I will be at that time...

Home - and by that I mean heaven - would be a nice place to be in, I guess... =)

But if not... even if it is not "my second world" or this "third world"... I pray that my desire would still see Christ glorified wherever He has placed me.... =)

Time for rest...

Have you ever wondered how our body is able to take in SO much, and even carry on a very heavy load when it needs to, and yet it also knows when it finally can "break down" and get some time for rest?

Feel that a heavy burden has just been lifted off me... It's not really solved, but I've passed it on... and so the responsibility is no longer mine...

And so feeling VERY tired at the moment...

I guess, finally, my body is catching up with its need for rest - after being forced to carry so much, for so long...

Thankful to God for a chance to have an early rest! =)

Other responsibilities, would just have to wait until I recover... =)

Dot to Dot

Bought two Dot to Dot books two days ago, and finished all the pictures on the thinner book that same night.

Spent a few minutes doing some alphabet tracing yesterday, too. Wanted to do it for a bit longer, but didn't have the time.

You might be wondering what's the big deal about doing those things, right? =)

Well, I'm learning to write using my left hand now.

I can write using my left hand already. But it's VERY slow and the writing is a bit messy and you can see that I don't have a firm/stable hold of my pencil/pen when writing...

Anyway... why am I doing this?

Well, partly for fun. =) (It's been fun re-learning the process of writing and drawing etc - and then come to appreciate better the learning process that kids have to go through =)); partly, to give my right brain a bit of work-out =P; and I guess, partly in anticipation of the future that I might not be able to use my right hand as freely as I can at the moment... =)

Just Around the Riverbend...

What I love most about rivers is:
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing, always flowing
But people, I guess, can't live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing...

What's around the riverbend
Waiting just around the riverbend
I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Where the gulls fly free
Don't know what for
What I dream the day might send
Just around the riverbend
For me... Coming for me...

Just around the riverbend...

(from Pocahontas by Disney, lyrics by Stephen Schwartz)

=(

It's hard when you feel that you can't really relate to people around you.

Hard when people don't understand the concerns that you have.

Hard when you think they are only concerned about trivial matters or that they don't understand real world problems...

But then, maybe, those trivial things are real world problems to them! - in their real world anyway!

Annoying though, when they seem to be so occupied with things that are just... to me... I don't know...

I guess I'm just tired of people whining or people feeling sorry for themselves - instead of being thankful - without realising that they have SO much to thank God for! I mean, quit winging! Enough! Don't you know how much you have compared to many others?!

Anyway, I know, I know... not everyone has an idea of how real life can be for some people... so it's OK...

Besides, God has had to put up with me... Surely I can put up with them!

As Oft, with Worn and Weary Feet

Words: James Edmeston, Fifty Original Hymns (Northampton, England: 1833), number 4.

Music: Bremen, Georg Neumark, 1641

As oft, with worn and weary feet,
We tread earth’s rugged valley o’er,
The thought, how comforting and sweet:
Christ trod this very path before!
Our wants and weaknesses He knows,
From life’s first dawning to its close.

Does sickness, feebleness or pain
Or sorrow in our path appear?
The recollection will remain,
More deeply did He suffer here:
His life, how truly sad and brief,
Filled up with suffering and with grief.

If Satan tempt our hearts to stray
And whisper evil things within,
So did he, in the desert way,
Assail our Lord with thoughts of sin,
When worn and in a feeble hour
The tempter came with all his power.

Just such as I, this earth He trod,
With every human ill but sin;
And though indeed the very God,
As I am now so He has been.
My God, my Savior, look on me,
With pity, love and sympathy.

He Knows It All...

A friend once told me that whenever she wanted to cry but couldn't, she would watch a very sad movie / drama, to make herself cry...

That is what I want at the moment... a really sad movie to watch... so that I'll be able to cry with the main characters in the movie...

My only comfort at the moment... is only the fact... that my Father knows it all(!) . . .


He Knows It All

Words: Ophelia Adams, 1905.
Music: C. M. Davis (MI DI, score).

I love to think my Father knows
Why I have missed the path I chose,
And that I soon shall clearly see
The way He led was best for me.

Refrain
He knows it all, He knows it all,
My Father knows, He knows it all;
Thy bitter tears how fast they fall!
He knows, my Father knows it all.

I love to think my Father knows
The thorns I pluck with every rose
The daily griefs I seek to hide
From the dear souls I walk beside.
Refrain

I love to think my Father knows
The strength or weakness of my foes,
And that I need but stand and see
Each conflict end in victory.
Refrain

from: http://cyberhymnal.org/htm/h/e/k/heknowsi.htm

Pieces of a jigsaw puzzle...

Reading a very interesting book at the moment! =)

It's been good to be able to understand better some of the things that were just jigsaw pieces to me so far...

I guess, it's like all these time, I have been given different bits and pieces from a jigsaw puzzle, without ever being given a chance to see what the complete picture will look like... And now, finally, after such a long time, I am given a chance to see how the complete puzzle looks like and so all those pieces are seen in new light! =)

I know where they fit in the puzzle and I know what they are parts of - why their colours and shapes and shades etc are the way they are! =)

Buah simalakama...

Somehow, at the moment, gua ngerasa kalo gua tuh sedang di-suguh-i buah simalakama...

Bingung gitu loh... Ngga tau mo diapain...

Dimakan... salah!

Ngga dimakan... juga salah!

Tapi ngga diapa2in juga ngga bisa gitu loh... Soalnya kalo ngga diapa2in, jadi sama ama ngga dimakan... which is salah juga! =(

Bingung... =(

When words fail you...

There are times when words fail you...

When you feel so much is going on inside of you and/or around you that you no longer know how to process everything or how to express them with words...

When those you care about seem to be going through troubled waters and yet even your extended arm isn't long enough to reach them...

When you feel so overwhelmed by it all that you almost feel paralysed...

And yet I know that the LORD my God is still in control even in all this. That His arms are long enough to reach those across the distance, and that He does care for them much more than anyone in this world could!

And so even though words fail me... I know Him who would understand my broken prayers!

To the choirmaster. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A Song.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Come, behold the works of the LORD,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!"
The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Psalm 46

His responsibility!

Some people might think that it's not a good idea to take all the responsibility/blame from someone, just in case s/he then work "irresponsibly".... But today, somehow, I felt I got / learned a new insight! =P

Maybe it's just me... Or maybe it's just him... Or maybe it's just the way we know each other's background and so trust each other enough?

Anyway, he knows that I get quite overwhelmed by a "sense of responsibility" - that is, I am actually someone who can function and work better when I'm not the one "responsible". Of course at the end I have to do my bit responsibly! But yeah, somehow - probably from my many comments/complaints and all - he knew that I don't cope too well when I'm being given "too much responsibility". =)

And so, out of his kindness, one of the first few ground-rules that we established was that "he is the one responsible for everything(!)" - if something doesn't get done, it's his responsibility, not mine; if something falls through the cracks - his responsibility, not mine! My job, is only to help him to do his tasks well - while being as helpful as I can of course! =)

I probably should have thanked God then... And I probably did. =) But it wasn't until today that I came to really appreciate what he actually had done! And what kindness he has shown me!

He actually volunteered to be the one to get all the blame if something goes wrong! He would also be the one people chases to make sure something gets done because it is his responsibility!

I didn't realise what kindness I had been shown...

But today, I got a new sense of appreciation and so a new sense of thankfulness! =)

Today, I realised that this "system" actually works better for me! =)

I figured out that I actually work much more effective and joyfully and less stressed out - this way! =)

And when I'm less stressed (knowing that I won't get the blame =)), my brain actually works better! =) And so, not only I am able to do what's required of me, I've also been able to come up with ways to improve the way I do things, or ways to help him do his works better and easier! =) It is actually a joy to make his life easier than harder - and to help him do his job well! =)

My brain is dead at the moment though and so can't think and can't express what I would like to express that clearly or nicely! =P

But yeah, VERY thankful to God for His kindness shown to me in this way! =)

Of course he is not perfect. This is not heaven yet! =) People are still sinful and the world we live in is still a fallen one. But yeah, I am very thankful for the chance God has given me to work and learn a bit more from him and his wife! =) Yeah, sure, it is him that I work with mostly, but he is who is because of his wife as well, I think. I mean, they are "one unit" really - at least that's how I view them anyway =)

So, very thankful to God for the privilege to work closely with these two great example of godly Christians! =)

Billy the Brolga... and the new exhibit!

I was out, but went back to take my camera and so missing 3 buses in the process! =(

The bus was extremely slow (!) - guess the driver was being extra responsible and careful - and so I was worried I would miss the 2.15 ferry.

Thankfully, I did make it! =)

However, what I missed to take into consideration, was the length of the queue for the sky safari! Somehow, it was really long today! And then there was one that was really dirty that the whole thing had to be stopped so that the carriage could be cleaned (even though it still wasn't used afterwards).

And so... I reached the top gate at 2.58!!! =( And the bird show starts at 3 pm! And the QBE bird stage is much closer to the lower gate than the top gate!

When I got out of the sky safari, I was contemplating whether I should just follow my usual path - or whether I should run and try to make it to the show - albeit a few minutes late.

Decided for the second one. And so I ran! Ran as fast as I could, going through a shorter path - feeling upset all the way, thinking and wishing that I didn't come back for my camera!

And yet (!), just as I reached the QBE bird stage, guess who was there?!

Billy the Brolga! There! Eating chips that fell into the drain!

Of course he was surrounded by a few keepers who were trying to work out what to do with him next - or how to return him to his "place". But I saw him up close and personal! =D

I was so amazed to see him there that I didn't get a chance to take out my camera and take a picture of him though! =(

But yeah, I was SO happy to see him there! And to be that close to him! =)

Now, I know that most of you who read this won't understand what the big deal was... =) That's ok. =) I'm the main audience of this piece of writing =P But in case you are curious, Billy was supposed to fly down the stage before the show started - to open the show kind of thing. But somehow, today, he didn't! And so it was unusual for him to be there (and for me to get a chance to see him that closely) and it also meant I wasn't late for the show! =) (although somehow, I wouldn't have cared that much even if I was a bit late for the show - or missed something - after that "special meeting"!) Oh, and I got to take a nice pictures of Boo the Barking Owl and Minkar the White Bellied Sea Eagle, too, from the spot where I stood today! =)



God was indeed kind to me! =)

And Great Southern Ocean exhibit has been opened! =) It's new and it's big! Very spacious! And the seals looked very "at home"! =)

Only saw one of the leopard seals, though. There were supposed to be three of them. Although not sure if they are used to being with each other yet, because last time I read on the news, they are still not used to being with each other. They are quite solitary animals.

And you can see the seals from under the water! And one of the seals was especially friendly! Putting up a show for those who were there! =) Pity I missed the seal training and practice sessions! =(

The pelicans were moved though! Although I didn't get a chance to visit the bird sanctuary at the top gate, and so not sure if those are the same pelicans or not. But I don't think they were planning to get new ones, so they must be the same pelicans! Which means, they have been re-housed after living in their old house for such a long time!

And the fiordland penguins were put together with the little penguins! That was a bit strange! Although maybe the keepers and all the animal experts had taken everything into considerations and saw nothing wrong with doing that... Hmmm... It was just a bit strange to see them living together within the same space. In the past, the fiordland penguins used to live together - just the three of them - and it was funny to see how they interacted with each other! =) Anyway, could be that they shared habitat in nature, too... =)

Didn't get to visit many other places. Bought something from the zoo shop for someone's belated bday. Wanted to buy something else for someone else, too, but then I have no excuse to get that present. Just thought he would like it since he has been wanting to visit Taronga Zoo and yet hasn't got a chance! But yeah, he would have to wait for his b'day now, I guess! =) Or he can get it when he finally does get a chance to visit the zoo later! =P

And oh, I learned something new about seal movements today! =) Leopard and Elephant seals swim/move like fish in the water and like caterpillar on the land, while "real" seals are like penguins, they "fly"/"slide" in the water and move using their flippers on the land... I think that was the difference - from memory... =)

And also that fishing hooks are not good for wildlife! And that trashes from the land washed up to the sea are also harmful to animals - because they do either take it as food or something to play with - just like that penguin in Happy Feet!

Anyway, always find a visit to Taronga Zoo refreshing - as it reminds me of the God who looks after His creatures - God who cares for His creation, including these animals! And if He does care for them, how much more does He care for me?! And so I don't need to worry about anything in this world! =) I just have to keep seeking His Kingdom! =) Same message as from Matthew 6, right?! =P

Looking forward to heaven, though, when there will be no more enmity between rest of creations and us humans. When we will no longer be sinful, so we won't harm the animals, and when we will be at perfect peace with nature and with each other - because we are fully "at peace" and in perfect relationship, with God! =)

Taking it lightly...

Someone asked me whether his guess was right that I got really upset about something that I mentioned to him tonight.

Well, to be honest, I just have so much anger at the moment, I guess... Too tired, been sick, and have not got enough time to take time off to just be with God - just "be" and not "do"...

But yeah, I do get really upset when I feel that someone is taking God and His Word lightly.

I just can't understand why some people think that they know enough about God already. Or that they have done what is required by God's Word. I mean, have they really looked into their sins?!

Maybe some people really are saints... Maybe they really have kept God's Word...

I'm not "judging" without examining myself. I know better than anyone else how much I fail God's standard, and how much I'm sustained by His grace alone!

But I'm really uncomfortable when people seem to be taking His grace for granted. To me, that's just wrong. How could they not see how sinful their hearts are. Or at least, how far from perfect they are? And if they see it, shouldn't they be uncomfortable and repent?!

Anyway... I know, God grows people at different pace, and so I really need to keep reminding myself that I should let God do all His work... And be patient with them as He has been patient with me!

"Good-night" songs

I think, I'm the type of person who would like to make sure that I get at least a chance to say that I would like to say =) And so, been thinking a bit about my funeral songs for a while... No, not that I think I'm "going soon" or anything - although with God, you never know =)

But yeah, been thinking... especially since I am quite particular about the songs/hymns that I "like"/"prefer" and especially their lyrics.

And so, I have decided to start writing about it and telling people about it. =) Although of course, it would be of no use if Jesus ended up coming back before I die. But then I'm sure I would be too glad to meet Him that I wouldn't care about this plan anymore. =)

Anyway, I do plan to keep adding songs/hymns to my list. =) But so far, I have four hymns on my list:

1. The Rock of Ages

Either or both in English and in Indonesian, I don't mind - depends on where I die, I guess. And depends on who end up attending the service (if someone organises one =)). I want this song/hymn to be played to the tune and in the way that's as close as possible to that same song in Ruth Buchanan's cd - Songs for the Wealthy Beggar. I want that strong and clear drum sound (at the beginning and throughout)! =)

2. My Hope is Built on Nothing Less

Again, either or both in English and Indonesian - depend on those who would be there. =) This one to be sung to the more upbeat music version of the hymn. At the moment, I have in mind the way it's played in the "Passion: Hymns Ancient and Modern" cd. But I don't like the way that song is ended. So just stick to the wordings of the hymn. =) But yeah, again, strong drum sound. I like having clear song beats.

(I know, I know... I will be dead already by that time, right? Still, this might help people appreciate my taste of music =P)

3. The Christian's "Good Night"

English lyrics can be found here: http://cyberhymnal.org/htm/c/g/cgoodnit.htm
Not sure if there is an Indo translation or not... If not - hopefully, I or someone else will be able to come up with one before there is a need for it. =)

I want my funeral/memorial/thanksgiving service to be a joyous occasion, celebrating the fact I finally got to see my Saviour face to face. But yeah, I know it would be hard for the people I'll leave behind (or maybe not =)) so have decided to include some songs (and this is one of them) that would help them to grieve as well...

4. O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing

Again, there are English and Indo lyrics for this. To be sung in its traditional tune - or to avoid confusion - to the tune of Azmon, by Carl G. Gläser, 1828.

I'm still thinking about this last song... It would depend on how soon I'd be called home, I guess... But yeah, somehow, I just want the last song to be a song that proclaims the good news of Jesus - a song that motivates people to not just glorify His name, but also to keep proclaiming His name - cos otherwise, they won't get to see me again later(!) - well, I'm half true, right? (though theologically maybe a bit dodgy =P)


Anyway, this is just my current thinking =) I might change my mind tomorrow or years from now =) Depends on how long God plans to keep me here, I guess =) I don't mind either at the moment. I mean, death is great, I get to meet Christ! =) But yeah, life isn't bad either. I get to serve Him here. =) So, whatever He's planned for me! =)