the memory that I don't have . . .

Finished reading a good book on the life of a godly 'saint' recently and been challenged in many aspect of my life through it.

One of the things that I was encouraged to do is to be more diligent in keeping my offline journal.

Doesn't mean that I will cease writing and posting things online. I will still post things online. However, I do believe that offline and online journals are of different nature and so they could serve slightly different purposes...

I think, an offline journal - is a journal you keep to yourself (and God)... No one else is an audience to what you are writing... Sure, there are times when you write something and think - maybe one day, someone will be reading this and trying to make sense of things etc. But that day usually happen in the far away future... At a time when the things noted down has become a part of history... or maybe even you yourself, has become a part of history...

And that's why an offline journal encourages honesty.... You get to be more open and honest about what you are actually thinking - knowing that what you write is not subject to anyone's judgement but your own - and God... And it does actually make a big difference whether you are writing "to be seen" - and for an audience - or whether you are writing for yourself/God.

When you know that others won't get to read what you think - you have more freedom to write down your current thoughts and ways of thinking... You say / write things that you would otherwise never say / write in front of other people - for various reasons - and not always bad reasons...

Sometimes, there are just things that it's not wise for you to say out loud or publicly - just because of who you are or who others perceive you to be, for example - or simply because things can be easily taken out of context... or maybe because others don't understand a situation as much as you do - or don't have the background knowledge that you have, or even - not having the Christian maturity and knowledge - that might be required in making judgement over certain things said or done...

And so, there are times when things are better kept to yourself and God...

Of course, there are also times when secrecy safeguards sincerity...

Another thing, I guess... is the fact that "time" is just a unique entity that might change the way we (and others) see things as it passes us by...

There are things that seem to be "black and white" to us at a certain moment in life - maybe because of the situations that we face at that time - or the emotions - or anything else - but as time passes... what we think "we saw clearly" took different forms altogether... and they look slightly or very different now... Time has reinterpret the way that they are seen...

And that's why I think an offline journal has this benefit of things not being made public or known to others, until we have decided that the first interpretation wasn't a wise one after all... It has that benefit of "time"... It keeps things in secret until things have withstood the test of time...

But of course I know all the benefits of an online journal... All the encouragement that you get from people... All the incentives to write as you know that others - at least a few people - are reading what you are writing... And just to feel that you have done something - and something others can see! It is satisfying!

And of course it is true that an online journal can be something that's done with the purpose to encourage and build others up. Or to share something with them... Or just to pour your hearts out... After all, this is an age where things are shared with others over the world wide web... =)

I guess... both offline and online journals have their own benefits... As long as we are clear what it is that we are trying to do when we write them.

Who is our target audience? What's the purpose of my writing? Will anyone be encouraged by this? Am I hoping to challenge someone through this? Am I setting an example? Sharing a struggle? Do I just want to be encouraged at the moment? Or am I just showing my human/personal side to others - so they can have a fuller picture of myself?

Would what I write benefit others? Should I write and post this online? Who would be reading this? Would they benefit from reading this? Or would they be stumbled instead?

We can't, of course, be responsible for the way others respond to everything we decide to post online... but I do think that we should exercise a duty of care...

Anyway, I know, most 'saints of old times' I know keep offline journal only because for them, an online one was simply not an option. =) And in today's world, there are many godly people who are keeping an online journal...

But yeah... just thinking I guess... and reflecting... =)

I think, for me, personally - at the moment - I know that an offline journal is something that I plan to work on a bit more... A journal to write down my personal reflections of the Bible passages I am reading... of the questions I have... of the things about people that came to mind as I read certain Bible passages, etc... So yeah, things that are mainly to do with my own personal communication with God or things that might be related to others, but might be better kept to myself or as a topic of conversation with God only...

I will of course, keep working on my blog... Just because I love writing... But yeah, it's been good for me to be reminded that when I do write a blog post (like this) - I'd better have a clear goal in mind...

I guess, for the "saints" in the past - "blog posts" are more like their letters to the people they ministered to? Like McCheyne's letters, or John Newton's letters... or Ryle's letters... Letters they wrote to either encourage or challenge people's ways of thinking or actions...

Although as I said, acknowledging the time I live in, sharing a bit of life - personal but not important - might also be done... =)

Anyway... the sentence that keeps coming back to me from the book - as I reflect on the things I chose to write/not write and also on the things I choose to say/not to say in my conversations with others now - is this:

"As I look back on life with Mum and Dad, perhaps the one thing I recall most vividly is the memory that I don't have. Try as I might, I cannot recollect one time when either of them spoke negatively about another person. Although Mum was an extremely astute judge of character, her analyses were well seasoned with grace and the latent potential for redemption."

I certainly needed the rebuke and reminder! =)

Find Us Faithful

Finished reading a book recently, which made a reference to a song, which was introduced to me by a brother sometime ago.

The person in the book - in whose funeral the song was sang though, did live a life that reflects the lyrics of the song...

Also saw a very old couple who came to my workplace to attend friday fellowship and very encouraged by them also... and by the fire of their devotion - even to their old age...

My prayer is that even if my life will be pale compared to these people's lives, the lyrics of the song will still be true of me to a certain extent... =)

Find Us Faithful
(from: http://www.stevegreenministries.org/lyrics/index.php?song=402)

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover
And the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them
To the road we each must find

Repeat Chorus Twice

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

Words and Music by Jon Mohr
Copyright 1988 Birdwing Music/Jonathan Mark Music (admin. By The Sparrow Corp.) All Rights Reserved. International Copyright secured.

Skills

One of the things I've been thankful to God for during these past few weeks is the fact that as a child, I was given a chance not only to learn how to make simple clothes for my Barbie dolls, but also to make simple furnitures for them - like chairs, bed etc! =)

Some skills do come in handy later on in life! =P

Tomorrow... =)

It is amazing how much you can hide from those around you....

It is amazing and yet worrying at the same time...

Looking forward to a good quality alone time with my Lord and God tomorrow!!! =)

Looking forward to be reminded of His love and kindness and sovereignty over everything... And just looking forward to enjoy "being" who I was created to be! =) Someone, who's created to enjoy a perfect relationship with my sovereign Heavenly Father, through the sacrifice of my loving Lord! =)

Looking forward to tomorrow!! =)

Saying goodbye... again...

Said goodbye to another person yesterday... Another family to be exact...

Another sad day for me...

Kept thinking... four years from now, things would have changed! Their little baby will no longer be little and the next time he sees me, he won't approach me and ask me to give him a cuddle and carry him up...

He will be 5 at that time... And he will act like any other 5 yo boys and not a cuddly toddler...

How do you do goodbyes well??? How can you get used to it???

But I guess, it is better to have even the short time with them than none at all... It is better to be thankful for what we can have than not taking the chance because we are afraid of having to end it one day...

I'm missing all my friends at the moment... They are all over the world... in different places... and they are all far away from each other! And it's just... hard...

I don't know... I guess, I'm just missing all of them at the moment...

A good choice! =)

I knew that they chose him for a good reason - or even a few good ones...

Now, though... I know that they indeed made a really good choice! =)

An interesting sms reply... A very interesting one... =) But a good one for me to learn from! =)

That's what I need to learn to do better! =) An art of encouraging and comforting people, while challenging and helping them to focus on Christ at the same time! =)