the memory that I don't have . . .

Finished reading a good book on the life of a godly 'saint' recently and been challenged in many aspect of my life through it.

One of the things that I was encouraged to do is to be more diligent in keeping my offline journal.

Doesn't mean that I will cease writing and posting things online. I will still post things online. However, I do believe that offline and online journals are of different nature and so they could serve slightly different purposes...

I think, an offline journal - is a journal you keep to yourself (and God)... No one else is an audience to what you are writing... Sure, there are times when you write something and think - maybe one day, someone will be reading this and trying to make sense of things etc. But that day usually happen in the far away future... At a time when the things noted down has become a part of history... or maybe even you yourself, has become a part of history...

And that's why an offline journal encourages honesty.... You get to be more open and honest about what you are actually thinking - knowing that what you write is not subject to anyone's judgement but your own - and God... And it does actually make a big difference whether you are writing "to be seen" - and for an audience - or whether you are writing for yourself/God.

When you know that others won't get to read what you think - you have more freedom to write down your current thoughts and ways of thinking... You say / write things that you would otherwise never say / write in front of other people - for various reasons - and not always bad reasons...

Sometimes, there are just things that it's not wise for you to say out loud or publicly - just because of who you are or who others perceive you to be, for example - or simply because things can be easily taken out of context... or maybe because others don't understand a situation as much as you do - or don't have the background knowledge that you have, or even - not having the Christian maturity and knowledge - that might be required in making judgement over certain things said or done...

And so, there are times when things are better kept to yourself and God...

Of course, there are also times when secrecy safeguards sincerity...

Another thing, I guess... is the fact that "time" is just a unique entity that might change the way we (and others) see things as it passes us by...

There are things that seem to be "black and white" to us at a certain moment in life - maybe because of the situations that we face at that time - or the emotions - or anything else - but as time passes... what we think "we saw clearly" took different forms altogether... and they look slightly or very different now... Time has reinterpret the way that they are seen...

And that's why I think an offline journal has this benefit of things not being made public or known to others, until we have decided that the first interpretation wasn't a wise one after all... It has that benefit of "time"... It keeps things in secret until things have withstood the test of time...

But of course I know all the benefits of an online journal... All the encouragement that you get from people... All the incentives to write as you know that others - at least a few people - are reading what you are writing... And just to feel that you have done something - and something others can see! It is satisfying!

And of course it is true that an online journal can be something that's done with the purpose to encourage and build others up. Or to share something with them... Or just to pour your hearts out... After all, this is an age where things are shared with others over the world wide web... =)

I guess... both offline and online journals have their own benefits... As long as we are clear what it is that we are trying to do when we write them.

Who is our target audience? What's the purpose of my writing? Will anyone be encouraged by this? Am I hoping to challenge someone through this? Am I setting an example? Sharing a struggle? Do I just want to be encouraged at the moment? Or am I just showing my human/personal side to others - so they can have a fuller picture of myself?

Would what I write benefit others? Should I write and post this online? Who would be reading this? Would they benefit from reading this? Or would they be stumbled instead?

We can't, of course, be responsible for the way others respond to everything we decide to post online... but I do think that we should exercise a duty of care...

Anyway, I know, most 'saints of old times' I know keep offline journal only because for them, an online one was simply not an option. =) And in today's world, there are many godly people who are keeping an online journal...

But yeah... just thinking I guess... and reflecting... =)

I think, for me, personally - at the moment - I know that an offline journal is something that I plan to work on a bit more... A journal to write down my personal reflections of the Bible passages I am reading... of the questions I have... of the things about people that came to mind as I read certain Bible passages, etc... So yeah, things that are mainly to do with my own personal communication with God or things that might be related to others, but might be better kept to myself or as a topic of conversation with God only...

I will of course, keep working on my blog... Just because I love writing... But yeah, it's been good for me to be reminded that when I do write a blog post (like this) - I'd better have a clear goal in mind...

I guess, for the "saints" in the past - "blog posts" are more like their letters to the people they ministered to? Like McCheyne's letters, or John Newton's letters... or Ryle's letters... Letters they wrote to either encourage or challenge people's ways of thinking or actions...

Although as I said, acknowledging the time I live in, sharing a bit of life - personal but not important - might also be done... =)

Anyway... the sentence that keeps coming back to me from the book - as I reflect on the things I chose to write/not write and also on the things I choose to say/not to say in my conversations with others now - is this:

"As I look back on life with Mum and Dad, perhaps the one thing I recall most vividly is the memory that I don't have. Try as I might, I cannot recollect one time when either of them spoke negatively about another person. Although Mum was an extremely astute judge of character, her analyses were well seasoned with grace and the latent potential for redemption."

I certainly needed the rebuke and reminder! =)