Finally!

I knew I would show strong emotions when I finally got to share my overwhelming joy with him in person... But I did not expect myself to break down that soon! =P Although again, it's probably just his presence or just the way he is... somehow, his presence just gives a feeling of security???

I know he has heard of the news from someone already... But I still wanted to share my view on it with him personally. =) After all, (at least in my mind), he has always been the person I went to every time I was overwhelmed by the seemingly impossible dream...

Ever since last night, while anticipating my conversation with him today, I recalled with fondness some of the conversations I ever had with him that are related to this 'dream'...

I remembered that one of the tough conversations I had with him was one towards the end of my degree. I remembered asking him at that time, if maybe, I should not apply for permanent residency at all... That way, I would have no choice but to go back...

I vaguely remembered another conversation I had with him and his wife at a long weekend conference - sharing my sorrow and sense of despair of the great needs that seemed to be present back there, but of my inability to do anything about it... even a sense of guilt for being here... Sharing dreams and hopes of a team like one that seemed to be forming at that time for another country...

And then there were conversations taking place even after he "left" us, especially in these past few years since the lunch time meeting in the city started - the last conversation being as recent as in the second quarter of this year... I remembered a few conversations with him - at different points in time - whenever I felt overwhelmed by the need, by guilt or by something happening over there - and I was reminded me to check - just to check with him - if maybe, I finally have run out of godly reasons to stay here... if maybe, it's finally the time...

And each time, he reminded me and encouraged me to pray... and to keep praying... And to keep being faithful here, keep trusting in God, and keep praying that God will raise up people for His glory sake and bring about His purposes...

And that's why I felt I just had to share the news with him personally! Even if he had known about it, he hadn't heard it from me! And so I must tell him. He, who even when failed to recall my name in one occasion, remembered what my main concern had always been, whenever I came to see him in such a distraught...

And so I shared with him today, how the dream has turned to vision! =) and how overwhelmed I was with joy! And how much I thanked him for all the encouragement he had given me to keep praying, including praying for a team...

I told him "I know someone has told you about this before, but I just want to tell you personally. We have a team. We finally have a team!" (and I broke down in tears of joy... =)) And he shared my joy(!), and led me in thanking God and praying for the vision...

I know he is not God, and I don't treat him as God. =P But I am VERY thankful to God for him! And for his wife! Always VERY VERY thankful to God for them...

I am overwhelmed with joy! =)

But I know, I need to slow down a bit and let others catch up with my current level of enthusiasm! =) I guess, to me, this is a dream coming a step closer to become a reality... An answer to many prayers over the years!!! Maybe we are not there yet... But I've been praying for so long for it! How can I not be overwhelmed with joy?!! =)

I am scared, too, of course! of the uncertainties and just of the costs... especially since this is now no longer just an 'over-there' dream... I'm scared enough that I need to share my fear and concerns with God... But yeah, as much as I'm scared, I am also overwhelmed with joy! =) This is an answer - and just but a beginning of many more answers to prayers presented over the years! And so as much as I'm scared, the thankfulness and excitement are just too overwhelming! =)